


Don't Push Me Away

by yngbloodlrh



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Malec, Romance, Short Drabble, Supportive Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 22:43:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15277773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yngbloodlrh/pseuds/yngbloodlrh
Summary: Alec comforts Magnus after he has a nightmare concerning his past.Takes place during season 2 after episode 15.





	Don't Push Me Away

The first time Alec hears it, he brushes the sound off and pays no heed.

The second time it reaches his ears he’s halfway through rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and sitting up on his bed, his eyes searching for Magnus within the darkness that sweeps through their room. And it’s the same sound again – A hushed and desperate plea – that penetrates the silence and sends a pang of pain to his heart.

  “Magnus.” His voice is soft, barely audible to his ears, and he places a tentative hand on the warlock’s forearm. A single touch and Alec realizes that he’s trembling; from the cold New York breeze that occasionally enters through the gap of the windows or from his dreams he isn’t quite sure, but it still hurts him internally that _he’s_ hurting, and he seeks out to tighten his grasp on Magnus, shaking him awake. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

It takes a moment for Magnus to be fully awake and aware of his surroundings. The hell he seemed to have underwent over and over on an endless loop was finally over and there an angel without wings laid beside him, turning the lamp on the nightstand on. Slowly, he felt his earlier panic subside. 

An apology is leaving his chapped lips before he could even stop it. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“Yeah.” Alec admits. “But that doesn’t matter.” he quickly adds after he sees the guilt that paints his boyfriend’s face, his fingers smoothly interlocking with his. “What’s going on, Magnus?”

“It’s nothing, just a silly dream.”

“That didn’t sound like nothing.”

Another hand reaches out to touch Magnus’ face, a touch so familiar that he welcomes it eagerly, leaning into it. His words speak of one thing but his wavering smile speaks of another, and he knows that Alec knows. “I’m sorry.”

Shock is written on the warlock’s face. “Why are you apologizing?”

Carefully, tenderly, Alexander cups his boyfriend’s face in his hands. His eyes meet Magnus’ – the color reminds him of dark chocolate – and a small smile creeps up his face. “I don’t know what it feels like to get switched into someone’s else body and relive old memories you’ve tried so hard to forget. If I did, maybe I would know what to say to you now. But in order to at least _try,_ then you have to know that you can talk to me about anything.”

Magnus sighs, the opportunity to lie is laying right on the tip of his tongue and it’s tempting, but he knows better than to lie to Alec. It’s not the fact that he could potentially avoid the conversation that could upset him, but it’s the notion of not having the ability to help that could. He himself knows that feeling quite well after working so hard to get him to open up. And at this point he’s tired. So, so tired that he believes if he bottled these emotions and thoughts any longer, he would combust. 

“When I told you what I’d done to my stepfather years ago, I expected to feel better.” He says. “At least be relieved that _finally,_ I can open up to someone that I love after so long of not being able to. And I’m glad, Alexander. I’m happy that I can trust you, that I can love you, that I can share with you the burdens that I’ve been carrying. But that agony rune… I can’t close my eyes anymore without seeing that man’s face. I can’t sleep without hearing him call me an abomination over and over again. I can’t do anything without thinking of that awful torment that single rune place on me.“

By the end of his confession he feels as though he’s on the verge of ugly crying in front of Alec. Especially when he realizes that said Shadowhunter hasn’t responded at all. The quietude is unnerving and a big side of him fears getting mocked by the one he loves the most and _again_ he’s shaking–

Suddenly a pair of soft lips are crashing onto his and it certainly isn’t perfect at all as they bump teeth and noses, but it’s _him_ , so bad kisses be damned. When Alec pulls back seconds later his hands are still holding on to each side of Magnus’ face and the small smile that once shaped his lips has grown since then. The look of admiration and love is so overwhelming that he almost falls over from the intensity. 

Alec says, “I love you,” and plants another kiss on him, so much longer than the last time that he has to remind himself to pull away.

“I can’t even begin to imagine to know how you feel right now. I’m not going to pretend that I do. But I can be here for you and remind you that you are not what he said you were. You’ve helped people you barely know. You’ve helped me. You Magnus Bane. High Warlock of Brooklyn, my friend, and my beautiful boyfriend.”

For the first time in awhile since he switched bodies with Valentine, Magnus smiles and it’s genuine. “Why would you want to date someone with so much baggage, Alexander?”

“We share each other’s burdens.” He simply responds, reaching up to press his lips against his forehead. “No matter the challenges, no matter how crazy things can get, I’ve learned not to push you away. You’ll learn too.”


End file.
